How Buzz Rickson Stole Christmas!

zoomer

Well-Known Member
What a joke on old z! Buzz’ beautiful new model 37J1, in the re-fitted top size of 44, fits me EVERYWHERE BUT THE WAIST!

I’ll be writing a long stupid poem about this later today.
 

B-Man2

Well-Known Member
What a joke on old z! Buzz’ beautiful new model 37J1, in the re-fitted top size of 44, fits me EVERYWHERE BUT THE WAIST!

I’ll be writing a long stupid poem about this later today.
Zoomer
Can’t wait to see the poem. But how small is the waist?
 

zoomer

Well-Known Member
Every mil-jacket fan liked Buzz Rickson a lot.
But the Zoomer, who wore a large coat size, did not!
Buzz answered requests for a new 44,
But said - to himself - "Nothing bigger! No more!

“The chest will be fifty, with full five-inch drop.
No selvage - no wiggle room - THERE IT MUST STOP!
For Japanese craftsmen do not compromise,
And part of the look of a garment is SIZE.”

The Zoomer’s physique was just slightly too round.
Despite all his workouts, he’d shed not one pound.
He moved and he sweated, his knees they would buckle -
Resistance to insulin had the last chuckle.

His body told Zoomer, “You’ll find I’m a fighter!
I’ll go to 220 - BUT NOT ONE OUNCE LIGHTER!
You can kill yourself trying. I won’t guarantee
You’ll get anything back except more misery.”

Buzz brought out his new 37J1
With a 50-inch chest. Zoomer said "Son-a-gun!
That new 44 ought to fit me just swell, I bet -
Unless Buzz insists on an athletic silhouette.”

But deep disappointment was waiting for Zoom.
For Buzz had no plans to give breadbasket room -
Nor to tell anyone. Because all designs vary,
And certain proportions are PRO-PRI-E-TARY!

(to be continued)
 
Last edited:

Micawber

Well-Known Member
Every mil-jacket fan liked Buzz Rickson a lot.
But the Zoomer, who wore a large coat size, did not!
Buzz answered requests for a new 44,
But said - to himself - "Nothing bigger! No more!

“The chest will be fifty, with full five-inch drop.
No selvage - no wiggle room - THERE IT MUST STOP!
For Japanese craftsmen do not compromise,
And part of the look of a garment is SIZE.”

The Zoomer’s physique was just slightly too round.
Despite all his workouts, he’d not shed one pound.
He moved and he sweated, his knees they would buckle -
Resistance to insulin had the last chuckle.

His body told Zoomer, “You’ll find I’m a fighter!
I’ll go to 220 - BUT NOT ONE OUNCE LIGHTER!
You can kill yourself trying. I won’t guarantee
You’ll get anything back except more misery.”

Buzz brought out his new 37J1
With chest measure 50. Said Zoomer, “What fun!
That new 44 ought to fit me just swell, I bet -
Unless Buzz insists on an athletic silhouette.”

But deep disappointment was waiting for Zoom.
For Buzz had no plans to give breadbasket room -
Nor to tell anyone. Because all designs vary,
And certain proportions are PRO-PRI-E-TARY!

(to be continued)
In a word - brilliant!
 

STEVE S.

Well-Known Member
Every mil-jacket fan liked Buzz Rickson a lot.
But the Zoomer, who wore a large coat size, did not!
Buzz answered requests for a new 44,
But said - to himself - "Nothing bigger! No more!

“The chest will be fifty, with full five-inch drop.
No selvage - no wiggle room - THERE IT MUST STOP!
For Japanese craftsmen do not compromise,
And part of the look of a garment is SIZE.”

The Zoomer’s physique was just slightly too round.
Despite all his workouts, he’d not shed one pound.
He moved and he sweated, his knees they would buckle -
Resistance to insulin had the last chuckle.

His body told Zoomer, “You’ll find I’m a fighter!
I’ll go to 220 - BUT NOT ONE OUNCE LIGHTER!
You can kill yourself trying. I won’t guarantee
You’ll get anything back except more misery.”

Buzz brought out his new 37J1
With chest measure 50. Said Zoomer, “What fun!
That new 44 ought to fit me just swell, I bet -
Unless Buzz insists on an athletic silhouette.”

But deep disappointment was waiting for Zoom.
For Buzz had no plans to give breadbasket room -
Nor to tell anyone. Because all designs vary,
And certain proportions are PRO-PRI-E-TARY!

(to be continued)
If want that waistline
to start a slimmin’,
Gotta give up the booze,
& messing with loose women....
 

zoomer

Well-Known Member
The Zoomer thought long before pulling the trigger.
The parcel arrived and he said with a snigger:
"With tight 37J1s I've contended.
Perhaps my dilemma is finally ended!"

Then pulling it carefully on by the sleeve,
He ooh-ed at the super-fine Bedford Cord weave
And aah-ed at the scrupulous stitch-counting detail.
"I must take some photos and send them by e-mail!"

The shoulders felt perfect. The chest and arms too.
This thing was A-1! Maybe even A-2!
Then, zipping the zipper, poor Zoomer's face fell -
THE MIDSECTION FELT LIKE THE CORSET FROM HELL!

Zoom strode to his mirror, but didn't look twice.
From pockets to waistband it gripped like a vise.
Deep wrinkles threw 'cross, the back panel to bisect -
Irresistible force met immovable object.

And the Zoomer owned up, as his gut ballooned roundly,
That that scoundrel Buzz Rickson had bested him soundly.
Slim fit is a law in a Japanese jacket.
They're proud that not all Western figures can hack it.

But Zoomer now thoughtfully fingered the seams,
And grabbing a ruler, began hatching schemes.
"I'm not beaten yet! I may turn this about -
There might just be slack enough here to let out!"

(to be continued yet again)
 
Last edited:

Griffon_301

Well-Known Member
Great poem! Fortunately my 44 looks to be even a little roomy on me. According to the HPA site it has the same measurements as a 46 sized ELC G1 and that G1 fits me like a glove...

Looking forward to reading the continuation of the poem though :)
 

Bombing IP

Well-Known Member
The Zoomer thought long before pulling the trigger.
The parcel arrived and he said with a snigger:
"With tight 37J1s I've contended.
Perhaps my dilemma is finally ended!"

Then pulling it carefully on by the sleeve,
He ooh-ed at the super-fine Bedford Cord weave
And aah-ed at the scrupulous stitch-counting detail.
"I must take some photos and send them by e-mail!"

The shoulders felt perfect. The chest and arms too.
This thing was A-1! Maybe even A-2!
Then, zipping the zipper, poor Zoomer's face fell -
THE MIDSECTION FELT LIKE THE CORSET FROM HELL!

Zoom strode to his mirror, but didn't look twice.
From pockets to waistband it gripped like a vise.
Deep wrinkles threw 'cross, the back panel to bisect -
Irresistible force met immovable object.

And the Zoomer owned up, as his gut ballooned roundly,
That that scoundrel Buzz Rickson had bested him soundly.
Slim fit is a law in a Japanese jacket.
They're proud that not all Western figures can hack it.

But Zoomer now thoughtfully fingered the seams,
And grabbing a ruler, began hatching schemes.
"I'm not beaten yet! I may turn this about -
There might just be slack enough here to let out!"

(to be continued yet again)
Amazing grasp of the English language by a German man .I for one as an English speaking person could not write a poem in German for a German audience and do it so well . Thumbs up to you Zoomer
Makes me feel very humble .

BIP
 

zoomer

Well-Known Member
Wait, where did you get the idea I was a native German speaker? I do know a little but that's all.
 
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